It's not your body you have to control, it's your mind. Switch your thinking and your body will heal. You can only have one thought in your mind at a time. Use your mind for a change!!!!! The key to recovery from addiction and gaining serenity is to live in the moment, just for today, just for the hour, just for the minute. The more you fight to be in control of everything around you, the more you'll fall and keep falling. Let go, relax and let a Higher Power control things for you. Find a live group in your area. Accept what is happening is what is supposed to be happening for you in this moment. A Higher Power will help you but you have to be willing to accept some higher power being in control instead of you trying to control everything in your life. You have to become a pure accepting vessel before a Higher Power will fill you up with serenity.
You're realizing with each fall how powerless you are to control this by yourself, aren't you? That's the first and most essential step. It is good idea to begin looking inside for what is causing you to be irritable, resentful and discontent and needing to escape into a fantasy world. This exploration is the beginning of the therapy and counseling process.
Just going to meetings will not do it. You've got to begin establishing personal relationships with people you trust, from the meetings and meet with them personally to discuss what is going on. Addiction is not about sex, alcohol, drugs, work or food. It's that we use our acting out behavior to cover up a hole in our soul yearning for connection, attachment and intimacy with another person and with a power greater than ourselves.
The key to letting go is to admit you are powerless over addiction and that your life has become unmanageable. Addiction counseling can help you explore your past and its connection with your actions at this present moment.